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Quotes By Bill Maher

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn’t a Nazi, he wouldn’t have any credibility with conservatives at all.

Bill Maher
Father President Quite

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, ‘Please, I used to pull the same trick. There’d be an intervention, I’d make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.’

Bill Maher
Case President Says

This is a ridiculous heat wave we’re in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.

Bill Maher
Air Hot Stop

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don’t know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, ‘I’ve got one question: What color is the red phone?’

Bill Maher
House Start Today

I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.

Bill Maher
Law Order President

They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.

Bill Maher
Means Talking Week

It’s all been satirized for your protection.

Bill Maher
Protection

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.

Bill Maher
BestClear Rest

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

Bill Maher
House Left White

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

Bill Maher
ExperienceLearningFact

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.

Bill Maher
Early Next Week

Hi, I’m Bill. I’m a birth survivor.

Bill Maher
Bill Birth Survivor

I never thought I’d say this: what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.

Bill Maher
Bush Needs Obama

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly.

Bill Maher
Building Cowards Miles

The country has become much more conservative, partly because it’s been taken over by the religious right.

Bill Maher
Partly Religious Taken
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