I don’t know what ‘famous’ is, really.
With acting, I didn’t get much from it.
We should all love animals.
I don’t want to go about offending people; that’s not my plan.
I mean, I don’t really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
I don’t watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that’s in there.
Comedy’s really subjective, you know.
Making the ‘An Idiot Abroad’ series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I’d hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill – just like everyone says.
If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you’re not used to spending that much time with people.
I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn’t wait to get off the stage.
When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I’ve done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that.
To be honest, marriage doesn’t scare me and that, it’s just once you’ve been together for so long, if you haven’t got any kids it’s just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn’t it?
At the end of the day, teachers aren’t going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, ’cause it was never gonna happen. We can’t all be brainy, can we? That’s just the way the world is.
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
It’s not a joke: I really do like being at home.