Hollywood’s just not funny.
Dude, I didn’t say Jude Law can’t act. I didn’t say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he’s in every movie.
Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I’m famous.
Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
I’m in show business… I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
I love what’s happened to me, but when I was a kid, I wanted to be the president of the United States.
By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you’re trying material.
Movies have takes. But plays are like life – you don’t really get takes.
Being with my kids is the best, most fun thing; it’s a privilege.
Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
I live way below my means.
You don’t need a critic to tell you people aren’t laughing.
Yeah, I love being famous. It’s almost like being white, y’know?
Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.