An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
Politics is applesauce.
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I’m in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
If you can build a business up big enough, it’s respectable.
Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can’t read. If they could read their stuff, they’d stop writing.
There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.