I’ve always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.
President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
I can be in 20 movies. But I’ll never be an actor.
There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy’s heart stops, and you’re the one who has to fix it!
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we’re in a battle between tyranny and freedom – it’s a series of pendulum swings.
I’m thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time’s a charm.
I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything.
More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn’t even know they had.
A joke is a joke. There’s an expression – I don’t know if you have it – that’s ‘adding insult to injury.’
I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, ‘When I’m president… and I just wanted to stop him and say, ‘Dude.’
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don’t have a regime.
Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.
McVeigh’s lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
If you watch the news and don’t like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
I’m too short to host a late-night talk show. It’s like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.